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© 2018 by Barbara Hribar

No! You Don't Hafta'! Relax!

December 23, 2018

No!  You Don’t Hafta’!

 

Relax!

 

So much is happening! There’s so much to do!  With all that fills our “absolutely must do list”, we may feel fatigued or frustrated by now!  But that can change!

 

For the past few weeks, it has been on my mind to write a few thoughts to you about what I’ve been hearing recently!  Today I heard the frustration again!  My friend and I were enjoying lunch in the sun on the patio of Pita Jungle when our waiter  (about 25 years old) began to share with us, unsolicited, how he would hafta’ purchase a Christmas gift for his friend, because he just learned that his friend had bought him a gift!  He pointed to a car parked near us and said, “I’m so frustrated now that I hafta’ do this; I just bought a new car!”  Smiling, my friend and I suggested that he offer his friend a ride in his new car. We questioned other alternatives, offered suggestions, but regardless he really seemed stuck in the belief that there was no way out.  He would hafta’ get that gift, and he was genuinely concerned.

 

I’ve heard this over and over in the stores, as folks shop together and share what their hafta’s are!  Really?  In order to not feel critical of others, I only had to remember my own hafta’ during a Christmas in the ‘90’s.  The night was cold, snowing,  dark, and it was getting late! I had my own hafta’ on my mind, and, even though my husband told me that I didn’t hafta’ do this, and refused to go with me, I went alone into a most unwelcoming night to buy a friend a hafta' gift!  I had to make efficient use of my time, so I stopped at a friend’s home to pick up a holiday dress that she had altered for me. I always was a fan of multi-tasking and bundling errands. Can you relate? Well, things didn’t go very well, as I slipped on the icy stairs at my friend’s home. The fall was hard and blood shot out from my face; I made it to the door, and we poured capsicum in the wound to stop the blood from pumping.  Yes, you read that right, capsicum, the spice that you use to make prize-winning spicy chili!  My friends got me to the hospital where the ER called-in a plastic surgeon who did his best with 19 stiches.   The surgeon laughed at my choice, but admitted that the capsicum had very effectively stopped the bleeding.  (By the way, if you don’t have pure capsicum and/or pure goldenseal root on hand for accidents, contact me for more information.  It can be a life-saver and I have lots of amazing, healing stories to share with you at another time.) Well, needless to say, the stitches, the swelling, the new black-and-blue-look didn’t add much comfort and joy to the holiday season! When my husband arrived at the hospital, he reminded me that I didn’t hafta’ get that gift.  He was right. I’ve made better choices since that night.

 

I think it can be a hard lesson (or not) to really consider if your hafta's are really hafta's! It’s not too late to reconsider what is most important, what your priorities are, and whether or not you are just feeling pressured by others, by traditions, by past habits. 

 

Have  you considered that others may also be suffering from this hafta’ complex? Perhaps a good, honest, kind conversation about this would bring you and others relief!  A thoughtful conversation like this is called, “letting people off the hook”!  Actually it’s letting yourself off the hook too!  

 

Whatever your haftas’ may be, I hope you can let yourself off the hook on something!

I wish you a Safe, Happy, Healthy Christmas Season of Love!

 

Holiday Blessings,

Barbara

 

Kindly edited by Karen Diehl

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