Did you ever hear that question when you were growing up? Ever hear this? - “Be sure your underwear is clean in case you need to go to the hospital!” (Or was that just my grandmother?) Well, I hope that we’ve all grown beyond such dis-empowering thoughts.
As we are evolving into emotional and spiritual maturity, we perceive life differently from “what others might think of us”. We see life from a perspective that is actually higher emotionally and spiritually than how others would judge us.
This past week I felt led to re-read for the umpteenth time Don Miguel’s book The Four Agreements.
Those four agreements are:
These four agreements are a high calling to spiritual and emotional maturity, and it’s a refreshing book to read.
The author’s invitation to reach higher allows us to discern what is really important in life, and it’s not about what others might think of us! If we are to overcome any tendency or even obsession with what others think, then perhaps focusing initially on just two of these will encourage us to raise the bar for ourselves, bringing greater joy to our everyday life. Of course we seek to experience a joyful day, but we cannot achieve that if we feel pressured about what others are might be thinking. We can attain that joy by applying Don Miguel’s teachings.
The higher standard means that we truly do our best and feel that alignment with what Spirit call us to do. When thoughts of what others might think of us for any reason enter our mind, we can recognize that our standard is higher than that. Our standard is based our intention/conscience and to the Living, Loving Spirit within us. That calling is for us to be content with being perfectly imperfect when we did our best. When our core values are lived at the highest and best, and we still mess up, it will be ok! Don Miguel says, “Doing your best really doesn’t feel like work because you enjoy whatever you are doing.” What are you doing? Are you enjoying it? Who are you trying to please? Is it realistic? Are you having honest conversations? What are you imagining? True love does not judge; true love supports, encourages and uplifts!
The second agreement to consider when letting go of what others think is that we cannot afford to take anything personally. What other people think, say and do is about them and not anyone else! Whether it’s a compliment or a criticism, we cannot take it personally. The compliment can be taken and misused by the ego, and the criticism can be a poison to one’s consciousness, completely ruining an otherwise joyful day. He says in his book, “…taking things personally is the maximum expression of selfishness, because we make the assumption that everything is about me.” We are not responsible for everything! It is interesting that folks often think that worrying about what others think is a form of humility, and we learn here that it is a form of selfishness.
Consider this: Everything is a vibration of energy. Your thoughts and words, your birth name, your birth date, your feelings and emotions, your home and your belongings, the trees and all of nature, even your friends and family’s thoughts and words! Knowing that we intend joy, we want to reach for those vibrations that are spiritually and emotionally energizing, supporting, encouraging and uplifting. We will then watch what influences we accepting. We do that first by being aware of the thoughts that circle our brain. What if “what we think people think of us, actually isn’t what they think”? What if it is only in our heads, and we imagined the whole mess? We are powerful beings and we can create our own negative vibration.
Our responsibility is only to answer to our conscience and that Spirit within. What others think is none of our business, and can only result in an unnecessary upset to our day. Our imperfection may mean that we will apologize for our behavior, but that apology is based on our personal inner discernment for what is best, and not based on what others think – ever!
I will be love.
I will be wisdom.
I will be joy.
I will seek to do My Best
I will allow the results to rest in Spirit.